Wounds that Never Heal
by BlueRainDevi
Summary: Lupin and Tonks's story...goes from OotP to HBP. 4-11-08 CHAPTER 7 UP!
1. Begging

"Tonks, please will you take him out? Just for a few hours?"

Sirius was asking, but he made it clear that she couldn't say no.

"He's a great guy, fun to be around, but this time of year..."

"What's so special about this time of year?" she asked.

"I wouldn't call it special…it's when he was bitten. I'd take him myself, but I'm not exactly allowed to leave this house. See, the whole idea of a depressed man, in a depressed house kind of depresses _me_. So we're in agreement?"

Sirius was staring her down rather ominously, so Tonks agreed. She'd always had a soft spot for Lupin, who was always so patient with her, who managed to be kind and respecting at the same time.

But she just couldn't see how _he_ could be a werewolf. Or fun, for that matter. He, quite frankly, was a bit boring.

Except for the whole being a werewolf thing. Tonks could tell that everyday he wished he hadn't been bitten, wished he was normal. She was glad that he'd had people like Sirius and James, who didn't make him feel normal (they weren't exactly normal themselves) but like he could at least, have friends.

"So, you'll take him?" Sirius asked again. "Good. Not too much though. Full moon is in a few days…might lose some inhibitions."

"Lupin, lose his inhibitions?" Tonks asked in not-exactly-fake shock. Lupin carried his inhibitions around like lead weights tied to his ankles. At the look on her cousin's face, she amended, "I'll take care of him."

"Just be nice, Tonks. Remember, up till two years ago, he believed that his best friend and his wife were betrayed by his other best friend. And now…they only thing that's changed is that it wasn't _me._"

Sirius had a point. Tonks knew the story of Pettigrew's betrayal of Lily and James Potter. How the two remaining felt guilty and responsible for Harry's hard life, and still tremendously proud of the boy. She knew that Harry respected the two and loved the men who provided the only link to his past.

Tonks found Lupin in one of the smaller rooms, prepared as a study, finishing up what she presumed was something for Dumbledore.

She knocked on the doorframe and asked, "Erm, when will you be through with whatever it is you're doing?"

He looked up. "Oh, I'm finished."

"Then do you want to come to Hogsmeade with me for a few drinks?"

"Sorry, but no."

"Come on, Lupin! It's the holidays, and we'll be up to our ears in work, not to mention trying to cheer Sirius up. I might never have you alone to myself ever again."

She pouted, and Lupin raised an eyebrow, which she took as an invitation to keep begging.

"Please? I'll pay…"

A slow smile played on Lupin's lips.

"Now, I can't say no to that can, I?"


	2. Getting to Know You

_I have reviews! This is so wonderful! But it means that I have to update reguarly now, huh? Sorry about the whole Ch2 not accessible thing. I'm fairly certain it was my fault, as I managed to screw up and had to post Ch1 twice. Wrote more...HAZE...but I'll see you tomorrow anyways.  
_

The Three Broomsticks was reached almost instantly, and the two passed Madame Rosmerta hanging some fallen Christmas decorations.

Tonks and Lupin sat at a table and Tonks ordered two butterbeers, figuring Lupin could use the warmth.

"So Remus, now that we're away, is it true that you have a crush on Professor McGonagall?"

"Er…what? I mean, Excuse me?"

Tonks laughed and replied, "Just kidding."

Lupin stared blankly at her for a moment with a furrowed brow, then smiled and seemed to relax a little.

"Considering she old enough to be my mother! And this is without any alcohol in your system, Tonks," he chided, shaking his head.

Actually, he seemed to relax a lot.

"She's not that old, is she?" Tonks asked.

"More like I'm not that old. She's at least twenty years older than me." He sat back, taking a long drink of butterbeer, which had just been set down at their table.

"Oh. Then we're only..."

He looked up, calculating, "Twelve years."

"Twelve years apart," Tonks echoed, staring into her mug, wondering what to say.

"Thank you, Nymphadora. I'm rather certain that Sirius asked you to do this for my benefit."

Tonks nodded. "Though it's not like he had to try that hard to persuade me," she admitted.

Lupin smiled and asked, "Did he tell you why, exactly?"

"It's the day…that you received the bite."

"Thirty years ago…" Lupin mused allowed.

Tonks chose that moment to ask a question that she'd been dying to ask upon learning of Lupin's lycanthropy.

"So, what's it like, to change?"

Her friend took a long drink and set his mug down on the table. For a moment, Tonks thought he was going to change the subject and not answer her.

"While it happens, it's the most painful thing in the world. The limbs are changing, shaping themselves into a different structure. I get fangs, almost, well, really long canines right her," he indicated, "but after that, before I lost all conscious thought, it's a feeling of being the most powerful being in the world. I feel strong, stronger than any wizard _should_ be. My mind, however, is gone in an instant, all train of rational thought gone. Without the Wolfsbane Potion, I'd often black out and wake up the next morning, the room I was locked in shredded."

"Werewolves only harm humans?"

"They go for humans. But if any other animal threatens or otherwise challenges them, they won't hesitate to attack. Oh, and wood animals are often attacked as well. Easy prey. But yeah, mostly humans. Supposedly, a werewolf won't even attack certain humans.

"Which certain humans?"

Lupin suddenly became very interested in the rim of his mug. He gave a slight shrug and said, "I'm out. You?" He held the empty mug.

"Yeah, but-"

"What would you say to some firewhiskey?"

Tonks blanched. What had Sirius said about hard liquor?

"Don't worry, I'm buying this one."

She had to protest, "But I'm the one who made you come out for drinks! You don't need to…" she trailed off as Lupin held up a hand.

"What kind of gentleman would I be if I made a lady pay for the drink _I _ ordered? Especially as it's a bottle of firewhiskey."

She began to protest again, but he continued, "Save it Nymphadora. You'll force me to get you very drunk if you keep trying to argue with me."

"Whatever! I could outdrink you any day," Tonks snorted. "And besides, it's _Tonks,_ L-."

"I really don't believe you can outdrink me. Prove it," he challenged, calling for two shot glasses as the firewhiskey arrived.

If somebody had told Tonks she would be out playing a drinking game with Remus Lupin, she wouldn't have believed it.


	3. Fine, I love Snape

_A/N: And so it begins..._

"Okay, so…"

"Ladies first."

Tonks thought about it for a second. "I got it. We'll start off easy. Can't use the letter 'I'. That means in a word or as in referring to yourself."

A smile ran across at Lupin's face. Not what he would have called easy…

"Lovely day," he said.

"Oh, yes," Tonks said, nodding her head.

"Maybe snow'll start to fall," Lupin theorized. _(AN: It's IS a word!)_

Tonks narrowed her eyes at the contraction, but answered, "That would be lovely."

"You care much, for it?"

"Snow? Yes, do you?"

"No"

"Ah."

"That was a joke. Snow's quite…enjoyable."

"I would-oh, no."

Lupin smiled. She grumbled and poured herself a drink.

"Knew you would lose."

"You were scared for a moment," Tonks scoffed.

"No, I-"

"HA! You said 'I!' You have to drink!"

"Actually Nymphadora..."

"No! Would that count?"

"Why not?" He downed his glass. "You don't have to if you want to declare me winner, and end this game."

"Deal. I missed saying 'I.'"

"You give up to easily. Okay, every time I scratch my nose, you have to declare your undying love for…Severus Snape. If you don't, you have to drink."

"What about you?"

He gestured to her. "Make up something, then.

_A/N: This next part is actually being transcribed off a receipt, and after that an orchestra booster club agenda. Thought you ought to know._

"Every time I laugh, you must loudly propose a toast to Charlie Weasley."_ (RW (quietly) "dragon tamer" I promise I'll stop with the author notes…RW is me BTW)_

"Charlie Weasley?"

"Would you rather if it be Molly?"

"Charlie it is."

Tonks giggled, so Lupin sighed and called out, "I'd like to propose a toast to Charlie Weasley. Great guy. Knows his dragons." He finished and scratched his nose.

"You know, that Severus Snape isn't such a bad guy. I mean, that hair! His vast knowledge of Potions…"

"Overdoing it a bit, Tonks?" Lupin interrupted. "And you still haven't said you love him."

"Fine. I love Snape!" She cried.

"You know Tonks, that sounded suspiciously convincing.."

"Sure do get jealous, Remus." Tonks said, searching for a reaction, and unfortunately, discerning none. She continued, "Are you saying I'm in love with Snape? That's a laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha."

She looked at him pointedly. "Ha."

"And I don't believe I'm done telling you about Charlie Weasley. Let us raise our glasses to him!"

Tonks looked around. People had heard, and were ignoring him. "New twist, I think. Every time you propose a toast, someone has to drink to it. If they don't, you have to."

"I'm sorry, didn't hear you, was too busy scratching my infernally itchy nose.."

"Bloody Hell!" she exclaimed, drinking her glass.

Lupin laughed, and Tonks had to admit, she liked hearing that. She even smiled and began to laugh too.

Immediately he stopped and near-shouted, "Join me in a drink to Charlie Weasley. Quidditch captain, right? Quidditch is great! I love a game of Quidditch!"

He looked around and implored pleadingly, "Anybody?"

_A/N: You're going to have to make do with this until I get a reprieve in school. Unless I find some time...we'll see...love Riles  
_


	4. The Walk Home

Three games and two bottles of firewhiskey later, Lupin and Tonks stumbled out of the Three Broomsticks, Madame Rosemerta shaking her head.

Tonks was completely sloshed. She had lost complete control of her ability to walk and was being supported by Lupin through the length of Hogsmeade. He figured, blurrily, that they _should NOT_ go back to Sirius' place. Something about Bamblebore, Dumbly-dog, _somebody_ not liking it. They needed to get somewhere, but the only thing working remotely well was his ability to walk, which was at the moment being hampered by Tonks, who couldn't even walk straight. Amazingly though, she had been silent since they left.

"Tonksh?"

"Yes Remus? You know, we shouldn't go back to Grimwauld's Place."

"How're you shtill able to tawk…tall….talk?"

"I can hold my liquor."

"Wish is why you can't wawk straight."

To prove his point she stumbled and he caught her around the waist. Tonks turned and smiled in gratitude.

"Thanks, Remus," she said, her face inches from his own.

Then Remus considered something that pushed everything, including being drunk, from his mind. Then it was over, they were walking again, and Remus heard her say in his ear, "What did you eat, Remus? Cause firewhiskey alone does not smell that bad."


	5. Almost Laid, but NOT

_RW- About the title, It's my friend Tim's idea. He's reading over my shoulder as I write this._

Somehow, they managed to make it to Tonks's flat. Tonks fumbled around in her pockets for keys, saying, "Purses are too easy to lose."

She looked at Lupin, who was leaning against the wall.

"You should probably stay here tonight, I don't think I'd trust you to find your way home. Definitely not Apparating," she told him, and led him inside.

Lupin, who had softly began to sing the Hogwarts song, glanced around her place. He could see what looked like a kitchen off to the right, a couch right in front of him, a door to the right and one to the left. By the couch, was a window, where the curtains were down, but still a sliver of moonlight filtered through.

"You. Couch." Tonks told him.

Lupin let go of her and lept on the couch, nearly knocking it over. Tonks tried to take a step, without Lupin's help, and failed, crashing to the floor.

"Help!" she called.

Lupin got up with some difficulty, and walked over to her and looked down at her.

"Please?" she entreated.

He helped her up and they stood there for a moment.

"You're gonna need help, Muffin," he told her.

"Muffin?"

"Muffin!"

"No offense Lupin, but I don't think I'd be letting you anywhere near my room just now."

"Go ahead then. Try to walk. You won't make five steps."

She tried again, but this time when she fell, he caught her.

"You could help me to the door," she offered.

"So you could fall once you're in there? _And_ since I'm not allowed in there, apparently, I only see one option."

"What's that?" Tonks asked.

He steered her toward the couch. "That you stay here with me."

He pulled her down with him, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"I protest!" she said.

"Whatever, Nymphadora. I won't bite."

He paused, then corrected, "Much," and nibbled her ear.

The sensation of his teeth caused a shiver to run down her spine. He stopped after a few moments and she realized he'd fallen asleep.


	6. The Morning After

Sometime in the early morning or late night hours, Lupin woke up. He was a little groggy, and knew that if he moved he would have a monster headache; it took him a moment to realize where he was, and whose waist his arms were wrapped around.

_Oh,_ he inwardly groaned as the earlier events were remembered, kind of. _Still,_ he thought, _can't be worse than that one time in Bulgaria with the pineapples…_

Then he stopped thinking, because he noticed the way that the sliver of moonlight caught Tonks, illuminating the pink strand of hair that fell across her face, marking her momentary vulnerability and immortalizing the beauty of her face in one inspiring instant. Lupin brushed her hair back from her face, and figuring it was his only chance and that everything would be turned right-side-up the next day, softly kissed her temple then fell back into slumber.

---------------------------------------------

Tonks woke the next morning to a beam of sunlight directly in her face. The effects of the alcohol were minimal, and she relaxed, until she wondered why she was on her couch instead of her bed…with somebody's arms around her waist.

"Oh," she said as she recalled the night before. She did not get time to dwell on it, as there was a knock at the window.

It was an owl, blue and it was tapping the window insistently. She opened the window and let the owl in and took the scroll it carried, which read:

_Nymphador, Arthur's been hurt. He's in St. Mungo's. Visiting hours are at ten. Could you do me a huge favor and bring my children and Harry here? They're at the headquarters. I've also asked Mad-Eye and Remus. _

_-Molly_

Tonks scribbled "Yes, be there soon," and sent the owl off. She glanced at the sleeping form on her couch and whispered, "Remus?"

Then louder, "Remus?"

"REMUS!" He stirred lightly and rolled over. She sighed.

"I guess I'll have to leave him here." She found some paper, left a note and Disapparated.

------------------------------------------

Lupin got up later with a crazy bad headache. The first thing he noticed was that Tonks was one. He sat up fast, and his throbbing head did not thank him for it.

"Wand! Where's the-"he searched around in his pockets and found it in his pockets, still intact, thankfully. With great struggle he arose, and spotted a note on the table.

-_Remus, Arthur Weasley is at St. Mungos. TRIED to wake you. Took Weasley kids. Will go back to Grimmwauld's Place afterward. Join us if you can._-

Lupin glanced at his watch, which exclaimed (_RW-what? Watches can't read or say anything either, so why not exclaim?)_ thirteen minutes after noon. He figured there may be a possibility of still being at St. Mungo's, so he'd go back to Sirius' and have some tea before everyone got back He wrote "Got it," on Tonks' note and Disapparated.

Sirius was sitting at his table, reading.

"You, know, you really should warn me. It would be polite."

"Ah, where's the fun in that? Do you have some tea? Or possibly some Mandrake juice?"

"Aww…Moony's got a hangover. Yeah, I've got some."

He got up and began to prepare it for Lupin. "So was Tonks any fun last night?

"She's ruddy awful at drinking games," Lupin replied.

"Which is why _you_ didn't even make it home last night."

"How'd you know?"

"I have my ways, Moony. But come on, she's my cousin!"

"Nothing happened, Padfoot."

"Sure?"

"Yes. So what's this about Arthur?"

"He was bit by a snake while on watch. Pretty bad from what I hear. Odd thing is, Harry saw it and warned Dumbledore. BUT he says he saw it from the snake's point of view."

"Poor kid, he really could use some help in all this, and all he has are us."

"Some help huh? A werewolf and an escaped convict. Couple of old sops."

"We're not that old. Only twelve years older than Tonks."

Sirius raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

A flurry of activity was heard from the hallway; the group had returned. Lupin heard the stomping of feet going upstairs, and waved hello as Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, Ron and Tonks entered the kitchen. Tonks gave him a look that suggested infinite painand probably and Unforgivable Curse or two if he mentioned last night at all.

_RW: This is it for now…Haze has some stuff to do & we're at school and all…but it's long, so be happy! I am!_

_Love ME!_


	7. Yummmmmmm

_AN: So I'm back! Hopefully I'll have readers or something. I re-read the earlier chapters, and I can assure you, there will be editing!  
Love you guys! If anyone reads this!!_

Remus stood slightly aside at St. Mungo's, away from the Weasley family. Tonks did the same, though she had set her hand comfortingly on Harry's shoulder as he stared blankly at Arthur. While his children and his wife doted on him, Arthur watched Tonks and Lupin as they stood apart, neither one daring to look at each other.

_Now what, _Arthur thought, _has happened here?_

With even more of a reason to celebrate the holidays, Grimwauld place was in a festive uproar. If Remus wasn't nearly toppled down the stairs by one of his former students, he was tripping around trying to avoid Tonks. Talking to Tonks right now would mean that either they were going to awkwardly talk about that night, and how it didn't mean anything, or Remus would admit that something had changed.

Either way, one did not have to be Sibyl Trelawney to foresee that it would not go well.

He spent the rest of the day between hanging Christmas lights, and detangling Sirius from them.

--

Tonks stood in the kitchen while Molly made lunch for the household. The carrots, celery and potatoes that she expertly sliced into the pot smelled garden fresh, and Tonks inhaled deeply as Molly tossed some rosemary and sage into the soup. Almost simultaneously she was brushing fresh bread with garlic and olive oil while sprinkling it with a fine dusting of cheese.

"I wish I could cook like you, Molly."

Molly smiled without looking up from the boiling soup. "Practice. That's really all it takes. Also, you let your father teach you the Muggle way."

"My mother had no patience for cooking!"

"Would you like to learn, Nymphadora?"

Tonks snapped her mouth shut and quit swinging her legs over the counter she was sitting on.

"Well, I guess I could, maybe"

"Why don't you spend the afternoon in here, dear, and I promise I'll have you cooking by dinnertime."

"Umm, Molly? Are you sure that's such a great idea? I mean you know, we might as well let these Muggles and their nuclear weapons just attack the world now, if you'd like…"

--

Remus, Sirius and the twins sat around the living room and admired their handiwork. True, the lights may have looked a little tangled, and the tinsel was more or less clumped on the tree itself, Fred and George had managed to charm some lights into spinning around the tree and changing colors, while Sirius and Lupin had created a small miniature red sled pulled by eight tiny reindeer that whizzed around the room.

"That's a beaut, in't it?" Fred asked.

"If I do say so myself" George replied.

Remus and Sirius had been covertly sneaking firewhiskey in the corner for about two minutes, and Sirius gurgled his agreement. It took about ten minutes of admiring the tree for the twins to catch a whiff of the firewhiskey, and by then Sirius and Remus had finished it all.

--

By the time when late afternoon turned into early evening, the smells of something delicious had wafted through the house, and when coupled with Molly Weasley's shrieking, drew everyone to the dinner table.

There were pasta dishes and a vegetable casserole. Three different kinds of sauce lined the middle of the table, and smells of a creamy dessert could be detected peeking from the kitchen. It was the paradise of a meal. Then again, with Mrs. Weasley in the kitchen, everyone was kind of used to it.

When everyone had eaten their fill, Remus turned to offer his gratitude to Molly, as he did after every one of her meals. Molly smiled, arched an eyebrow and replied,

"Why thank you, Remus, but I do believe you'll have to give your gratitude to the real cook this evening?"

Arthur finished his biscuit with a loud crunch. "Then, darling, who shall we thank for this delicious meal?"

"Tonks, dearest."

"Tonks? How is the entire headquarters not burned down right now?" Ron shouted in shock.

Everyone laughed at Ron, while Harry punched him in the arm, and Tonks was congratulated by the consumers of her meal. Almost undetectable was the blush that spread across her face, but Remus caught it. Tonks looked from Fred to see Remus staring at her, and it deepened.

Molly, who had disappeared into the kitchen, burst out with dessert.

"Crème brulee!" she called.

Everyone looked from her to Tonks.

"Now, really, of course _I_ made this. Tonks, erm…skills just aren't at this…._level_ yet."

"Plus I nearly singed off her eyebrows when she let me try," Tonks added.


End file.
